hello world, what do you think. a simple case of mid life crisis? or just plain lonely? i seriously think its just plain fetish… i dont know … u judge….

bonjing: muwah back , really raining nice i wish i was there i like rain , and staying in bed have breakfast and you

louie: bed and breakfast

louie: sweet

bonjing: and you

bonjing: that more sweet

louie: lol

louie: makes me want to invent some sickness

louie: so i can go home

bonjing: noy now wait till im there and we do the rain dance so we have extra rain just in case its stop raining

bonjing: how you feeling today babe , hope you are much better

louie: rain dance … with head dress and diapers?

louie: cool

bonjing: lol ahahahahhahahah

louie: yeah slept early last night

louie: i tried to get online

louie: but i dont know,

louie: dont laugh at me

louie: im a dummy on wireless settings

louie: so i couldnt use the laptop

bonjing: its normal we all have some brain freez somtime

louie: some connections get lost when i take it to other place

louie: either that or etisalat has found out weve been

louie: hacking

louie: a lot of signals

bonjing: i had same problem here , bad and slow connection get me fud up somtime , besid i only have the pc to relax , whil i have mum crying from pain and dad caughing

louie: sounds like home to me

louie: i think i had that picture in mind

bonjing: indeed , home with me as nurse betty i call myself that now

louie: must have been really tough

louie: nanny with an accent

louie: and a lot of attitude

bonjing: i dont know what to tell you , it seem ill never ever have a chance to have rest

louie: cause you dont allow urself some

bonjing: i wish , the day i tried i becom the selfish son

louie: not selfish

louie: u just give urself some break some time

louie: thats all

bonjing: its too much going on , i feel so low and lost i cant do somthing without somone getting angry , i just keep quiet better

louie: hmm

louie: wt can i do to make it better

louie: same old hassan

louie: when it gets too much, cnt pull back

bonjing: i want to go cyprus , change my shop from communication to cafe and sit there with shisha and short , have my bely half shown and grow my hair long and change my name to stavros

louie: was it you who told me you cant please them all

louie: what does stavros mean

bonjing: hassan

bonjing: i think

louie: cool

bonjing: that will be given my self a break

louie: you wanna go with me march? philippines?

louie: what about your partner the one you introduce to teresa

louie: but in greece it cold these season..

louie: its freaking cold

bonjing: march im in hannover 5 till 15 CEBIT exhbition, my partner is in cyprus his wife found out his plying and she divoring him, he was having it with 19 old student, and she get pregnant, what a luck

louie: aww

louie: 19 is hot

louie: thats all i can say

bonjing: well , i dont know about that i never had 19 in my life the first ever lady was 30 whne i was 19

louie: thats a treat too,

louie: opened up a holw world for you

louie: its a mazing u did not marry him

bonjing: him,

louie: her sorry

bonjing: that better , i was worried for a moment

bonjing: she looked like a man

bonjing: and she made me do it all day till i couldnt walk any moreand all in empty stomck

louie: all day?

bonjing: yep all day , i remember 10 to 12 time then i stayed home few weeks recovereing

bonjing: and i hated sex and woman

louie: lol, quite a scandal

louie: she squeezed the life out of you

bonjing: i was 19 only fresh and young

bonjing: and that was going on for almost one month till her husband came back from kuwait and tok her with him , then i went back to porn movie ahahahahah

louie: lol

louie: tragic

bonjing: yeh tragic, but what can i say the only thing i didnt do is making any body pregnant yet and i wish i can

louie: alright back to the rain

bonjing: rain  rain and rain in dubai cool

louie: i seriously wonder after all these years you were still thinking of having a child.

louie: you dismissed the whhole thing back then, told me its not fair to bring a child into these world

louie: when you couldnt provide what they deserve

bonjing: yes but i come to a conclusion , having a babe will at least give me hope that i did somthing before i die

louie: hassan you have proven yourself worthy in the eyes of your family.

louie: you gave up everything for your own

bonjing: yes but family fade away what will happend whne i m old and lonely

louie: i dont want you thinking that way, for what its worth God is smiling on you when you have chosen to take care of your family

louie: and dont go thinking you were alone, they say everybody deserves someone, like a witness

louie: a witness to your life, your existence

louie: you have paid a high price, but theres nothing wrong with that…

bonjing: hmmm maybe that why im stuck but i have to be like that , its realy a bless to be there for your family

louie: hassan, you have a personality where you push ur way somewhere u wanna go and will not stop till you reach.

louie: and when you reach you ask urself

louie: ur clueless

louie: like a commuter on the rush, pushing himself to get there ahead of others, angry at anyone who stops him, and when he reach he ask himself, whats the rush

bonjing: yes you said it im clulesssssss

louie: ok ill tell you the truth

bonjing: yes

louie: you see maybe you had this impression im not listening to you but i do

louie: one time you were complaining about your sister – one of them

louie: ok a

louie: i think we were there when she was away

louie: with friends

louie: you offered to keep her in the flat

louie: after some brawl with a roomate or soemthing and told me she could do the chores

louie: and its getting to irritate you that it made you think why you offered it at the first place..

louie: after you decide on one thin

louie: you change your mind after

louie: have u evert hought how i would feel if that happens to me if i decide to have the baby?

louie: ill be the one who gets stuck

bonjing: im sure you will babe need 2 poeple and a home

louie: i gurantee there will be bad times

louie: but you were so used at seeing things perfect

louie: that when the bad time comes, i dont want you telling me youre stuck

bonjing: yehhhh, that what im worried about , i dont know any more

bonjing: what do i want

louie: you managed well enough on your own and you know more than i you cant live with anyone….

bonjing: im a difficult man my mary i hated somtime why im so edgy and want to run alwys may be i m not stable and affraid

louie: what im afraid of is when you come to me and i could pacify you when that happens

louie: i mean i couldnot

louie: do that all the time

louie: sometimes i  dont have answers to your questions

louie: they say what makes a man is entirely his own doing

louie: women has got nothing to do with it

bonjing: babe i think you done a lot to me and i really want  to see you face to face and we will have time to talk about lots of things together i miss you lots and ill send you all my love n kisses…  

12:26 pm 15 jan 2009

I gave my eyes a five days rest as I got rid of my  contact lenses, a spec of dust ruined my sight and my entire day yesterday.

so in the state of semi blindness, i type my blues away as i face yet another monotonous work this time with bigger letters so I can read my work..

a segment in the tv taught me a lesson: one should continue to use his/her brain so that brain cells will

not deteriorate in the old age.

 The thought made me go through the number of years i have stayed in this country…

Am I using my brain?

would one ever consider  the brain on holiday if they decide not to look for stress free job like mine?

for after countless careers and jobs i tried, nothing seems to fit on me.

·         The overly corrupted world of real estate business that lost its luster as they literally squeeze my provisions with the amount of sales I made.

·         the marketing call for a company expectant of result while you are still getting over the sales dilemma,

·         a budding business with which they expect you to build as they leave you in an office equipped with a telephone an internet and loadsful of coffee.

·         the turbulent lesson famous brand of company I was given a privilege  to join, but upon knowing the tricks of the trade, you get infiltrated by the luridness of politics and the works of bitch co worker.

alas, i got this job, literally hurled at me with reluctant hands  as i was forced to catch it because the bills are toppling…

and as I sit in this overly spacious hub day in and day out  wondering what else could i possibly do than sit here.

a year of sitting had its effects – mostly physical. I got fat from sitting. that overly relaxed environment also rated me useless by the opinion of a 21 year old who changed her title into a marketing manager as she claims she is one.  i have been yet again used by a mindless personal assistant whose assisting job i could only think of is when she joins my boss for a chat. the rest of her job is thrown at me. strange that she gets 10,000 for throwing orders.

in the midst of doing nothing i occupied my working time with updating friendster and facebook and opened up numerous blogposts. In between I would bug the working time of my on again off again boyfriend (which I don’t know our status now) who always is busy. That’s mainly the story of our relationship, he was busy and u wasn’t.

in the hay  days of my boss being away i got absorbed  by researches on the internet like a self training on my most coveted dream : make up artistry:

i got me a full section of tips and tricks which would keep me occupied for the entire working time.  i pity the quick

change of ink cartridge of our expensive printer as i document my way with all net finds I could hold of until I get bored and think of another project.

then i came across perfumes thanks to the influence of Guerlain. i book bind a fascinating collection of trivias and information about perfumes, its origin and the magical writing of one blogger named helg - 

whose influence and love of mitsuoko and other Guerlain perfumes made me al the more interested with it.

i devoted  myself also to some infos about weightless programs  and healthy eating but it was short-lived because I never bring lunch as a habit so i end up  starving and bingeing at home.

As i ponder at this thought, i started thinking if i am really pushing the end of my brain capacity

As I write my way, I ask myself, “is this all I got?” has i been more eloquent in the past few years that my mind has started falling out like my hair? If the miniscule details of my life is limited to the confines of this quiet office, do I need a noisy bigger one instead in order for it to function?

as i sit here, im thinking. are these days of non work meant non thought as well? if nothing is happening with my life right now, is it because i have not been making a deep thought of it? I feel my brain cells dispursing as my stomach grumbles from hunger…

will is christian, hes very much available and is so good for my ego…. (he’s 24 y/o). he turned out to be sweet, courteous with females and so touchy.

one time after work, he called up to pick me from jumeirah lake towers. he asked me to go with him to umm al quwain as he has a client to see in the afternoon.

we passed by to his flat, to change his clothes and to eat. or so he told me.
lunched turned out to be a take away as his mom (who was in country for visit) was deliberately set loose so he can make the flat private. 

after lunch i excused myself to refresh in the loo. the bathroom despite having a male owner turned out to be clean and full of shaving razors… of well thats understandable.

i could have readily end up on the other room which is the bed, except for one thing i see in the bathrooom. Up in the shelf comes a small icky plastic cup.

it was NATURE TOUCH TAWAS at may price tag pa na 2 dirhams!

what in the world is the tawas doing in that small bathroom? did he have the faintest idea what it is for? and even if one of her ladies (obviously a filipina) left it there, hasnt he been oriented with rules on bathroom evidences? has the tawas gone international, how many natonalities have known the wonders of that 2 dirham thingy and what for?

i dared not ask him any questions so off we went to Umm al quwain , i dismiss any more come-ons from his side and went through the day wholesome and unscathed as the TAWAS remains in my memory, and squashed all his charms away …. poor thing..

heres his photo: THE MAN WITH A HIDDEN substance – ANTI ODOR SUBSTANCE

Welcome to WordPress.com.

THIS IS MY SITE.

*unmistakeably asian, love my roots, proud of my homeland
*loves muchness about everything, the idea is muchness.
*i live life like tomorrow is payday, always.
*my family name bolus used to be subject of ridicules in school in my younger years…. it still is by the witless kind.* but bolus can be prevalently found in finlanders and lebanese names (no apparent forefathers or connection with them though….)
*i have few treasured friends, they adhere to my skin like leeches, but i adore them….
*works in UAE, its not worth leaving my homeland. but it pays the bills.
*theres a voluptuous and curvy girl inside of me whom i regularly sedate with ice cream when she wants to go out.

12 July 2008, i have created my first blogpost to document me without the help of cnn or bbc. i have not decided yet whether i let anyone i know see this as i have intended to make this as a reminder for myself alone. others may find it downright selfish or quite humbling… but the idea of a broadcast borders around the other side of the world which im not ready for… atleast not yet… mari

17 nov 2008, still not ready to broadcast my blogposts ….. mari… and am so not ready to broadcast my thoughts.